


in my head

by noahczerns



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: He's Jealous, M/M, Pining Kageyama, except he doesn't know he's pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 12:25:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11600598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noahczerns/pseuds/noahczerns
Summary: Kageyama has no idea what feelings are. Friendship? Human connection? What are THOSE?





	in my head

**Author's Note:**

> JEALOUSY THY NAME IS KAGEYAMA

Kageyama would never admit that Hinata was his best friend. He would sooner admit that he still slept with a nightlight because he was afraid of the shadows his dressing gown made in the dark than let anyone know that he felt anything more than a team partnership towards Hinata.

On the outside, it would appear that Kageyama was too proud to associate himself with someone like Hinata. Although, with how he was playing lately and his growing reputation, this mask was slowly slipping off.

Truthfully, he was still reeling from the fact that they could be considered friends, let alone best friends. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to accept the fact that their companionship expanded beyond the volleyball court now; it was the opposite. He just found it downright hard to believe. He wasn’t even sure how friends were supposed to act, or what friendship felt like; was there supposed to be a blaze in his stomach when Hinata smiled up at him or was there waiting for his toss with blinding trust?

After not having friends even on the court for fourteen years of his life, the concept was difficult to swallow. He was in a permanent state of disbelief that someone, especially Hinata, enjoyed playing with and hanging out with him, whilst still seeing him for who he was. Most of the time, he was an asshole and everyone knew it, so why did Hinata continue to deal with him and his moods?

Kageyama was at a loss. He had been thinking about this question ever since he and Hinata had started to see more of each other outside of practice and had never once come up with a suitable answer. The only logical one that he could come up with was that Hinata was far too nice for his own good and spent time with him out of pity. Why else would he, who had made friends with players from powerhouse schools so easily, bother to spend his free time with him? This answer still had its flaws. Hinata was never _that_  nice; he spewed his fair share of insults at Kageyama too on a regular basis.

These thoughts were all that were plaguing Kageyama’s mind these days. The only time that he found relief from his doubts were when he was asleep, or with Hinata himself, who somehow managed to distract Kageyama from worrying about his true intentions with their friendship. On the way to practice, he was looking forward to spending a few thoughtless hours, and maybe a few more after if Hinata was up for it.  

“What took you so long? That’s another win for me.” Hinata was already waiting outside the gym doors, bouncing on his heels with a smug grin on his face.

Kageyama rolled his eyes as he approached. “Dumbass, I had to stay behind in class for a bit. This one doesn’t count.”

“Yes it does!” Hinata insisted.

Kageyama walked past him and into the gym, feeling Hinata’s eyes follow him as he stepped through the door. Hinata appeared in front of his face, eye level with his body a foot off the ground, his mouth turned down in a frown and his eyebrows furrowed. Kageyama stumbled back slightly.

“It does count,” Hinata said after he landed safely back on the ground.

Kageyama tilted his head. “Whatever. I’m still winning.”

“I’ll beat you.” Hinata’s voice was clear and determined. It always was.

Kageyama shrugged. He knew that he might, someday.

-

Practice drew to a close and Kageyama and Hinata raced to clear away the balls.

As he put the last ball away, Kageyama asked; “Are you, um, doing anything tonight? Would you, maybe, uh, want to hang out?” He wished he hadn’t put the ball down yet so he could cover his face with it. He was never usually the one to do the asking.

Hinata frowned. “I would but I’m going to visit Kenma this weekend. I’m leaving tonight. Sorry, Kageyama.”

Kageyama felt the blow in his gut. “That’s… nice.”

“We can do something when I get back. It won’t be too late on Sunday, I don’t think. Maybe Kenma will let me borrow his game and we can play it together – no, that won’t happen. He’d never let anyone have his game.” He paused and looked up at Kageyama. “We’ll do something anyway.” 

“Yeah. Something,” Kageyama replied through gritted teeth. He looked down at his feet as he walked away. What was this feeling in his chest? It was sharp and it stung, twisting and writhing behind his ribs. He clenched his hands into fists. _Kenma._  What was so great about him anyway?

Kageyama barely remembered anything about Kenma, except for the fact that Hinata liked him a lot for some unfathomable reason. He was a decent setter, if he remembered correctly, but he hadn’t stood out in Nekoma.

He left practice without saying another word to Hinata. He should have said goodbye. If he was Suga, he would have told Hinata to have a good weekend with Kenma and asked him to say hi from him, but he was not Suga. Instead, Kageyama trudged out of practice, not bothering to grab a milk carton from the vending machine, with a scowl on his face and a sudden dislike for Kenma Kozume.

When he got home, the soles of his feet ached. Apparently, he had stomped the entire way home.

He realised he had a whole Hinata-free weekend. A few months ago, he would have relished a few days away from the obscenely bright head of hair and never-ceasing babble, but now the thought of it prompted a dull and dreary weekend, one that he did not want in the slightest. And he had wasted the last few moments he would have with Hinata for the next few days. _Dumbass_. He slammed his hand on the kitchen counter. The pain in his hand was instant and he regretted it almost immediately. As Kageyama cradled his now throbbing hand, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

**HINATA:** _have a good weekend!!!!!! u ran off before I could tell u_

Kageyama groaned. The being too nice theory was becoming plausible again.

He replied with one hand.

**KAGEYAMA** : _You too. Sorry_

Kageyama returned the phone to his pocket and retreated up to his room. After closing the door behind him and dropping his bags to the floor, he flopped onto his bed, sprawling his limbs in every direction. He stared up at the ceiling. How had he filled 48 hours without Hinata’s company before? His memory was foggy; he couldn’t conjure up any images other than wallowing in his room. That could have been accurate. He rolled over and hugged his pillow, his face squashed flat in the centre of it.

In an attempt to think of something else, he made a start on his homework, only to be reminded that he and Hinata usually studied together and he was useless at this on his own. He chewed on the end of his pen, staring down at the questions in front of him. He could see the words but nothing was filtering through to his brain, his thoughts drifted to something orange–

He put his homework aside and leaned across his bed to pick up a book he had discarded a few weeks ago. Hinata had pointed and laughed at the front cover, claiming the girl’s facial expression was exactly like Kageyama’s when he was confused. Kageyama threw the book onto the floor without opening it. He reached for the remote control and turned on his TV. He flipped through the channels, finding nothing particularly of interest, except for some dramatic romance movie that he and Hinata had picked apart and nearly passed out laughing at last week.

He let the movie play.

It was still absolutely ridiculous.

Still, he remembered how Hinata had clutched at his stomach and rolled around on the floor as gasps of laughter escaped his mouth.

There was something familiar in the way the girl acted as she saw her love interest around people other than her.

Kageyama turned the movie off.

The rest of the evening and Saturday passed in much the same way; Kageyama flitting from distraction to distraction, and in the end not being very distracted at all. Even practicing his tosses wasn’t working since he had to visualise Hinata there to hit his toss for it to work anyway.

He resigned to slumping on the sofa, waiting for a nap to consume him. He tried to pinpoint when he had become this attached to Hinata. He cringed slightly at the thought; they were barely friends. He wondered if everyone felt this wrenched out of reality when they were without their friends, he had no idea, he hadn’t really had anyone else to call a friend before. He knew one thing; he didn’t feel the same way when he didn’t see anyone else on the team for a while. He didn’t know what to think about that.

His anger at Kenma had died down a little. It was dumb of him to assume that Hinata didn’t have other people he wanted to hang out with besides himself. He wished Sunday afternoon would hurry up.

-

Just as he was about to sleep on Saturday night, he received a text from Hinata.

**HINATA** :  _see u tomorrow :D_

**KAGEYAMA:**   _Definitely?_

**HINATA:** _yeah, I should be back around 4 !!!_

He went to sleep with a small smile tugging at his lips.

-

Kageyama was never an early riser. He only woke up early when he was _really_  looking forward to something. Otherwise, his face stayed stuck under the covers until the very last second. When he woke up on Sunday morning, his mother was surprised to see him out of bed.

“Why are you up so early, Tobio? Are you sick?” His mother asked as Kageyama shoved a croissant down his throat. She placed her hand on his forehead, but Kageyama waved her away.

“I’m fine.” It was only 9, but he could survive the last few hours. He swallowed the last of his croissant.

“What are you smiling about?” She looked at him with a concerned look on her face.

“I’m not,” Kageyama replied, forcing his face into a neutral expression. It was probably more of a grimace. He went back up to his room and pretended to himself that he wasn’t just waiting for the clock to strike 4.

With each tick of the clock towards 4, Kageyama grew antsier. He bounced his leg up and down and tapped his fingers on any near enough surface. He rarely went this long without seeing Hinata. What if, in the last few days, he had remembered what an ass Kageyama was, and was just coming to tell him that he didn’t want to hang out with him anymore? He chewed on his lip.

The doorbell rang. He heard his mother’s voice as she answered the door, muffled slightly by his closed bedroom door. Then, he heard another voice. One that he used to find an annoyance, but now he was glad to hear, especially after hearing mostly his own thoughts for almost the entire weekend.

Moments later, his door burst open and a small figure burst through. At this speed, all Kageyama could make out was a head of orange hair as it headbutted him in the chest.

“Wooooah!” Hinata stumbled back, blinking fast, looking a little dazed.

“What the hell, dumbass?” Kageyama rubbed his chest where Hinata had collided with him.

Hinata shrugged. “I was excited.”

“For what?” Kageyama asked as Hinata plopped himself down onto his bed.

“To see you, obviously.”

Kageyama stared at him in confusion. “You – what?”

Hinata shrugged again and shuffled back on the bed to lean against the wall. “Seeing Kenma was fun, but I missed you. Practicing with you, I mean.”

“Oh.” Heat rose in Kageyama’s face. Hinata was always so blunt, it was embarrassing.

“Did you miss me?” Hinata asked. There was a hint of a smirk at the edge of his lips.

Kageyama scoffed, ignoring the pounding in his chest. “I got some peace and quiet for once.”

Hinata’s shoulders visibly slumped.

Kageyama rolled his eyes, more out of habit than genuine annoyance. When he looked back, Hinata’s posture had not changed. “I – fine. I missed practicing with you. Only a little.”

Hinata up, looking satisfied. “Were you jealous of me seeing Kenma? Is that why you ran off after practice?”

“What – no. I had to – get home. I had homework.”

Hinata raised an eyebrow and eyed Kageyama’s desk. “I can see your homework right now. It’s not finished.”

“Shut up, idiot. That’s only a bit of my homework,” Kageyama lied.

Hinata did not look convinced, but his expression softened. “You don’t need to be jealous.”

“I already told you I’m not.” Kageyama avoided Hinata’s eye, but he saw him stand up off the bed. Kageyama looked out of the window. “You can hang out with Kenma, it’s none of my business.”

Hinata put his hands on Kageyama’s shoulders and pushed. “Get down here. You’re too tall.”

Kageyama snapped his head back from the window. “What are you doing?”

Hinata stood on his tiptoes but was still an inch or two from being level with his face. When Kageyama didn’t comply to his demand, Hinata jumped and pressed a kiss onto his mouth. It was quick and brief as Hinata soon succumbed to the grasp of gravity, causing his lips to drag against Kageyama’s mouth and then his chin on the way back down. Kageyama felt his heart pulsing through his whole body. On his lips, he could feel the exact spot where Hinata’s lips had grazed his. They had been soft, which had surprised him, but that was not as surprising as them being there at all.

Kageyama tried to speak but found his throat dry and his head entirely empty of coherent thought.

“I like Kenma, but not in the same way that I like you,” said Hinata, holding his gaze with Kageyama.

Kageyama had certainly never felt _this_ / before. He only had a flimsy grasp on their friendship, and now he had to wrap his head around _this_ /. Kageyama thought he might throw up, but that could have just been the butterflies raging in his stomach. He had no idea they could be so violent.

Kageyama crouched slightly and felt his lips against Hinata’s for a second time that afternoon. It was longer this time and a little more forceful as Kageyama pushed himself closer, almost stumbling over his bent legs to feel Hinata’s warmth against him.

So Kageyama had no idea what the hell emotions were or what his were doing, but he was pretty sure he liked this. Kenma wasn’t so bad either, he guessed. He sure as hell didn’t get to do anything like _this_ with Hinata.  

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me on [tumblr](http://sugakoush.tumblr.com) !!!!!


End file.
